This is long overdue, but I’m just going to make a note here on relationships and military life. Many shipmates in my division at basic training were in committed relationships when they arrived – including me. Some were married, some just very serious. Many couples grew stronger through long distances. One even got married on liberty weekend at the end of basic. Like many couples entering the military, my wife and I decided to get married shortly before I left. We planned to have a legal wedding to take care of the paper work, and then have a “real” wedding when I returned on leave 6 months later. This would provide a number of extra benefits (extra pay, medical coverage, life insurance, and more) for both of us as well as a sense of security in the relationship.
Please keep in mind, separation affects all couples differently. In the 5 and a half years before I left, we had not spent more than a week without each other. Even then, we were on the phone every day. So I knew my absence would be tough on both of us. Very unexpectedly, on graduation day, my newly-wed wife of 3 months and live-in girlfriend of more than five years told me she couldn’t stay with me. She had difficulty explaining why, but it had something to do with her newfound freedom once I left. Not that I was oppressive, but we just did EVERYTHING together. Neither of us saw this as an issue before, but it was always there. I think we were just blind to it. I’m not trying to scare anyone, but please just take this as an advisory notice: know the status of your relationship when you sign Uncle Sam’s papers. Try to look through the excitement of marriage and your new future. Unless happily married already, I recommend waiting at least until after basic training to do so. Don’t use the military as an excuse to rush a marriage. I’m sure it works for some, but my situation is all too common. If it’s worth it, he or she will wait for you. If they won’t, they aren’t worth it.
